You Ship Me With Who?
by Cookieplzandthnx
Summary: The contestants of Total Drama find out who we the fans ship them with. You better bet that comedy is ensured!
1. Malejandro (Mal and Alejandro) Part 1

"Hey guys," greeted an African-American girl. She had short black hair which was styled into a bob and wore a red t-shirt, blue skinny jeans, a grey beanie and red sandals. "I am Cookie. I'll be showing the contestants of Total Drama who we the fan girls and fan boys ship them with. Let's begin with Alejandro."

Alejandro came out of dressing room waving. "So, I'll be showing your ships. Walk with me." Cookie walked towards a section labelled Malejandro. It displayed works of art depicting Mal and Alejandro kissing and be sexually suggestive.

"What the hell are you people on?" Alejandro asked grimacing.

"I can't answer that," Cookie replied, "Be a darling and read this." She handed him a piece of paper.

"Mal crept to the spa hotel to seek out Alejandro. Knife readied for the kill but Alejandro was one set ahead. He pulled Mal back into the darkness and started a heated make out session with him. Hoping his charm would let him live," read Alejandro. He looked from the paper to Cookie and back again. "What the f-?" he asked before Cookie cut him off.

"No swearing," she declared, "Unto the artwork." She handed a picture to Alejandro. It showed the two kissing passionately.

"I think I want to hurl."

"Don't because we have other ships which we'll show you later," she said shoving him back into the dressing room.

Turning her attention to the camera she said, "Suggest who you want to see next. Peace out until then."

* * *

**A/N**

**Me: New story with your suggestions, so leave them. By the way,I am not flaming your ship am just writing how the contestants would react to them. Okay? Please no comments about me flaming your ship, just no. Cookie, disclaimer.**

**Cookie: She doesn't own Total Drama.**

**Both: Bye.**


	2. Malejandro (Mal and Alejandro) Part 2

"Last time," Cookie said pacing the as we will know call it 'You Ship Me With Who Gallery', "I had Alejandro check out his ship with Mal and believe me he wasn't too happy about it." She giggled a little bit and said, "Now we'll have Mal or Mike, for now."

Mike came out of a dressing room with his name on it. Cookie looked at him and smiled and squealed, "I am one of your biggest fans! I have so many questions after this ends for you."

"Cool," he replied with a gapped tooth smile.

"I'll ask you two questions," she announced and he nodded, "Do you miss your personalities and do you want them back?"

"Yes I miss them even Mal and yes I wish I could have them back but it would be hard, though," he answered.

"Well I can get them back with this serum," Cookie said taking out a needle filled with yellow liquid.

"Will it work?" he asked with an examining eye.

"You got rid of them with a crappy reset button and I'll bring them back with an even more crappy way. Blame the writers," she said glaring at the camera

Out of nowhere a loud voice from above shouted, "Now breaking the fourth wall!"

"Anyways," she continued, "They'll come back and Mal will have a trigger so no random coming outs."

"What will that trigger be?" Mike asked interested.

"Every time you're angry or when have murderous thoughts which I know will be easy for you considering your laidback, calm and too sweet to murder."

"That'll be manageable," he commented as Cookie injected the serum into his left arm.

"Now what's my ship?' he asked.

"No. It's Mal's ship," Cookie said stepping on his toe. Insert le gasp and out came Chester.

"Opps wrong personality," Cookie said with a sheepish grin, "Excuse me Chester could you please bring out Mal for me?"

"Back in my day- wait you have manners?!" Chester half-questioned half-shouted.

"Yes, sir," Cookie said mustering up the sweetest smile.

"I guess, "he said and then insert a next le gasp and his hair fell over his left eye.

"I'm back," Mal said.

"Yeah and you're not going anywhere," she said a little too calmly, considering she was standing next to a murderous sociopath, as she handcuffed him and lease him. Tugging on the lease, she pulled him to the Malejandro section.

"WTH?"he asked as Cookie gave him a piece of paper.

"Read this please," Cookie said with a knowing smirk.

"Alejandro was ready to take Mal down. Exposing DVD in hand and all. He was about to tell Zoey the truth before he was pulled into the bushes by a mysterious person. It was revealed to be Mal and he kissed him passionately," Mal read.

Cookie took the paper and asked, "What did you think?" She was clearly trying not to laugh at the pure confusion, embarrassment and rage in his face.

"What was that? Whoever wrote this is going to have a slow and painful death!" he shouted.

"Nope because there are fans and that was one of your many ships," Cookie replied.

Believe it or not foam started forming as he growled. "Did you have your rabies shot, yet?" she joked.

"Huh? Oh!"

"Let's see what the other personalities and Mike have to say about this," Cookie said as she placed a fedora on his head. You know what happens when he switches.

"Oy, mate! Where am I?" Manitoba asked looking around.

"The You Ship Me With Who studios and I want you to read this," Cookie replied handing him the paper.

Thirty seconds later Manitoba was on the floor laughing and saying something about great revenge.

"Alright," Cookie said helping up, "Introducing Russian Olympic champion, Svetlana!"

The Russian gymnast looked around while Cookie explained and handed her the paper.

She giggled before saying, "Thank you. Svetlana now has perfect revenge ideas and in fact I'll start writing my own."

"Cool. Do you mind spreading it to the other personas because I don't want to bore the viewers. I just need Mike, now."

Svetlana nodded in understanding and gasped changing back into Mike. "What did Mal do?" he asked in concern.

"Nothing, I probably should take off your handcuffs and lease," Cookie said taking them off, "Alright just read this and it'll be the end."

After reading Mike began laughing and said, "Great. Now, I have a little punishment for Mal. Thank you."

"I'll get you later for another ship. Until, then folks send in your suggestions and stay cool."

* * *

A/N:

Me: This was long and had to be done to wrap up Malejandro.


	3. NoCo (Noah and Cody)

A/N: Yeah, I have been getting a lot of suggestions so if this is not what you suggested I'm sorry but yours will be up soon. IDOTD!

* * *

"Last time, I had Mal check out, Malejandro," Cookie announced as flashbacks played from them last chapter, "Believe me it was funny. Now I'll have Noah and Cody check out their ship together."

Noah and Cody walked out. Cody was smiling while Noah was reading a book. "No reading now, Noah," Cookie informed while taking the book and performing a back throw, missing the trash by a long shot.

"What are we doing now?" Cody asked.

"Did they explain it to you in the dressing room?" Cookie inquired with frustration. Both of the boys shake their heads slowly. "Fine. Last time I am saying this. I'll be shipping showing you your collective pairing or shipping." she explained. She walked over to the dressing room that they came out of, opened the door and then screamed, "YOUR FIRED RILEY!"

Out of the room came a skinny intern with brown styled into a messy bun crying and running.

"I feel little remorse," she called to the intern. Both Noah and Cody watched Cookie like she grew a second head. "She still gets paid." Cookie added, "Anyways, we're wasting time. Walk with me."

They reached the NoCo section of the gallery. The pictures varied from their kiss in Big Sleep to them making out.

"What is this?" Noah asked with a look of disgust.

"NoCo. Cody and your ship. Which many fan girls and fan boys including myself ship," Cookie replied.

"Why?" Cody questioned.

"Well, you guys kissed as this picture proves," Cookie told them pointing to it, "And you, Noah, was caught on camera sleeping on Cody's chest after chasing down the Total Drama Dirt bags."

"We're only friends. Beside those were accidents," Noah remarked.

"Yeah but it only takes an accident to make a pairing," she warned.

"Okay fair enough," Cody said, "Now can we leave?"

"Nope. You still have to read the fan fiction," she reminded as she handed them the paper, "Cody you read the first two sentences and Noah you read the last two."

"Cody was yet again on the run from Sierra trying to make him her boyfriend. He ran into the library and found a particular bookworm," Cody read.

"'Sierra, again' Noah asked while Cody nodded in response. 'Don't worry we'll make our relationship know soon enough' Noah assured kissing Cody lightly on the cheek," Noah concluded.

"We're just friends," they stated in sync.

"Another ship of mine not from this show used to do that and now they're a couple," Cookie teased.

Both of the boys glanced at each other and then make a break for their dressing room.

"Wimps," Cookie muttered before turning her attention to the camera, "Remember leave your ships."


	4. Courtopher (Courtney and Topher)

"Last time, I made Noah and Cody look at NoCo, one of the best shippings ever but they didn't like it too much," Cookie announced, "I fired my first intern and felt a rush. Anyways, here come Courtney and Topher!"

Both of them walked out of their respective room. "Welcome to Total Drama You Ship Me With Whom. Last-," Topher declared before Cookie put her hand over his hand.

"It's You Ship Me With Who for your information. I'm the host and you're not getting my job ever, punk," Cookie interrupted; poking his chest trying to intimidate him.

"Can we just get on with this?" Courtney blurted out; clearly annoyed.

"Yeah. Just follow me to the Courtopher or the cranky C.I.T and wannabe host," Cookie announced gesturing to the very big collection of artwork and fan fictions.

"All of this for me! I knew I was a fan favourite," Topher marvelled while Courtney shook her head in disbelief.

"I'd hate to burst your bubble, wait I'd love to burst your bubble, Shawn is actually the fan favourite male and person," Cookie said. Topher just sighed.

"What is this?" Courtney demanded after her little pause of silence.

"Your shipping with Topher," Cookie explained.

"But I don't even know the guy," she ranted, "Heck; I didn't know he existed until a couple of hours ago!"

"Let me give you a brief history lesson. Long ago, many fans shipped you and a certain host together. When host junior came we simply transferred you to him," Cookie informed while Courtney's face turned red in anger.

"Awesome!" Topher exclaimed. He had a grin that was bigger than if you gave a toddler their favourite candy.

"What's so awesome about this?" Courtney snarled while gesturing to the collection.

"I get to walk in Chris' footsteps. That's what is so awesome," Topher replied still smiling. Tears of joy were streaming down his face.

"We'll see how pretty your face is once me fist has kissed it," Courtney growled pushing her sleeves back.

"You just said his face was pretty," Cookie teased. Courtney blushed in anger and embarrassment.

"I didn't mean it," she whined.

"Whatever. No fighting until after you read the fan fiction," Cookie chuckled. Topher was visibly relieved whereas Courtney was still upset.

"Whatever," Courtney huffed.

"This little paper has an extract from TheSilentWriter001's Random Couples story," Cookie announced handing them he paper, "Read it as your dialogue comes up."

"Topher! Give it back!' she said. Topher couldn't stop the smug chuckle coming out of his lips. Courtney scoffed and continued to reach for the PDA," Courtney read in monotone.

"Promise not to call your lawyers,' he said with a smug smirk. He couldn't have Chris' show being sued on his watch. Courtney scoffed," Toper read.

"Ugh! Fine! Just give me my PDA!' she said. Topher smiled and handed her the PDA. She grabbed the PDA and sent Topher a side glare," Courtney read still in monotone, "You are just as bad as Chris,' she said. Topher smiled proudly."

"I take that as a compliment,' he said. Courtney rolled her eyes and the two walked away from each other. Both secretly smiling," Topher concluded.

"Can I beat him up, now?" Courtney asked.

"Sure," Cookie replied. Courtney turned into a complete ninja warrior. A ninja outfit mysteriously appeared over her normal clothes. She pounced on him and started tearing his hair out.

"Not the hair," Topher whined.

"This is it! Don't forget to leave a nice comment and a suggestion," Cookie said before walking away from Courtney beating up Topher.

* * *

A/N

Me: As usual, IDOTD! A shout out to SilentWriter001 who not only suggested this but let me use an extract from one of their stories. Next up is Jock because of a popular demand, probably later today or tomorrow I just had to get this one off of my chest, though.


	5. Jock (Jo and Brick)

"Today is a very special day because I am going to welcome my new little helper!" Cookie bubbled, "Meet Audrey!"

A petite Asian girl walked out into the vision of the camera. She had black hair with pink highlights styled into a high ponytail and wore a yellow tank top, blue jean shorts and black flip flops. "Hey there!" she greeted.

"Let me explain your duties. You take over the show when I can't do it but until then you can go explore the gallery," Cookie explained to the newcomer.

"Alright," Audrey remarked walking over to another section of the gallery.

"Our ship of the day is Jo and Brick," Cookie announced, "Come on out!"

Jo and Brick both jog out of their respective rooms. "Please tell me people ship me with her/him," they complained in sync.

"Watch the whole being in sync thing. As I have said before two other people not from here used to do that and became a couple," Cookie warned.

Brick gulped and Jo just rolled her eyes. "Now walk with me as I show the wonder of Jock. Oh and Jo here is a special picture for you," Cookie said giving Jo a piece of paper. This paper contained a picture of Jo in frilly pink ball gown with a pink bow in her hair.

"What is this?" she demanded.

"A picture of you showing of your feminine side," Cookie answered.

"And might I add it's very pretty," Brick added.

"Shut it, Captain Pee-A lot," Jo growled shaking her fist at Brick's face.

Brick opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by Cookie. "Anyways," Cookie interrupted, "Here is the infamous wall of Jock! It is actually one of the biggest collections for the TDROTI cast. I'm not too such but I think Zoke has a little more."

"Maybe it's meant to be," Brick offered.

"Don't make my punch you!" Jo snarled.

"Hey! No fight until after the fan fiction!" Cookie ordered handing them a piece of paper, "Read it together."

"I think I like you Jo,' Brick said to her, 'I just didn't know.' Brick's words were cut off by Jo's lips kissing him passionately after a couple of seconds the two parted, both blushing." Jo and Brick read together. They looked at each other blushing.

"Admit it, you like him," Cookie teased.

"Never in a million years,"Jo grumbled still blushing.

"Sure," Cookie replied rolling her eyes, "You guys can head back to your dressing rooms now or are you guys enjoying the view of each other?"

Brick and Jo glanced at each other before heading off; still blushing and smiling.

"Remember, leave your suggestions for the next couple and should I let Audrey do the next on?" Cookie asked as she did the peace sign and walked over to the Dott section.

* * *

A/N:

Me: IDNTD! So, I'm doing Dott next. Should I let Audrey do it? She wouldn't be as good as Cookie, though. It'll only be once. Thanks to everyone who suggested Jock especially KaylaBow because her encouragement made my get off of my lazy ass and do it.


	6. Dott (Dawn and Scott)

A/N: Sorry for taking ten thousand years to update but I was sick for awhile and still have headaches. So here it is and enjoy it. IDOTD!

* * *

"I looked at your votes and saw that you guys wanted Audrey to host this time," Cookie informed while pointing to the Asian girl, "Audrey get over here and host this show and get the snow cones ready Linda!"

Cookie walked out of sight while Audrey walked into sight. "Well um, this is unexpected. Um…What's this show about again?" she asked.

A distant smacking noise is heard most likely a face palm performed by Cookie. "Showing Total Drama couples their shippings and before you ask today is Dawn and Scott or Dott," Cookie hollered off set.

"Oh right, here they are," Audrey said as both Dawn and Scott walked over to her, "Hey."

"Hello there! Wait. Your aura is telling me that something bad is going to happen to you soon," Dawn said looking at Audrey intensely.

"What?" Audrey inquired.

Dawn opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by Scott saying, "It's probably nothing. She's a hoax."

Dawn glared at him the same way she did before she got eliminated on TDROTI. Sensing the awkwardness Audrey broke the ice and said, "Come with me to the wonderful land of Sawn."

"It's Dott! Not Sawn! Dott! Dott! DOTT! Gosh damn it!" a voice which belonged to Cookie barked.

"Oh yeah. Um Dott," Audrey gulped. She turned to the two former contestants and asked, "Like what you see here?" It was a very extensive collection of Dott pictures, heck there was a statue!

"What makes people think that I could possibly like the witch?" Scott snorted.

"It's their obsession and love of the show that drives them to make unlikely pairings. I read in the tea leaves this morning," Dawn explained.

"Anyways, let's read you're umm…what's it called?" Audrey called to Cookie.

"A fan fiction," Cookie answered annoyed.

"That. Here's the paper," Audrey said handing them the paper, "Read it, I guess."

"I made a mistake can you just please forgive me?' Scott begged. Dawn replied with a kiss on the lips," the two read together.

"Again, people really see us as a couple? It'll never happen so get over it," Scott ordered.

"You can't exactly order them to do that and no breaking the fourth wall! Don't reply because I'm the author! Oh and hi Dawn," bellowed a voice. Dawn waved while Scott rolled his eyes.

"Are we done yet?" he asked still very much annoyed.

"Well take a look at this next to priceless statue of you guys together as a couple and we're done for now," Audrey said as took up the statue of Dawn sitting in Scott's lap looking lovingly into his eyes as he smirked. She walked over to the pair who was just a couple of inches away. She took one step and fell. The statue fell onto the ground and broke into one million pieces. "Opps."

"That was a priceless statue! Do you screw up everything?!" Cookie shouted while walking into the view of the camera.

"I can fix it," Audrey mumbled trying to collect the pieces.

"Fix it? FIX IT!" Cookie yelled.

"Maybe we should get out of here," Dawn suggested.

"Maybe you're not a hoax. Let's scram," Scott agreed and with that the two left.

"All day you screwed up everything! You know what you're going to have to pay for that and good luck doing that without a job because the network called and told me to fire you!" Cookie bellowed right in her face.

"I'm sorry," Audrey whimpered.

"Sorry doesn't cool it! Get out now!"Cookie yelled at her.

"I'll sue," Audrey tried to threaten.

"Nope. Your contract states that you can't sue ever. Now leave," Cookie semi yelled.

Audrey ran past Cookie crying. "Breathing exercises. I am never getting an assistant again. Anyways, don't forget to leave your suggestions about whose next. See you guys," Cookie said before walking off.

* * *

A/N

Me: Harsh wasn't it. That's all. See you soon.


	7. Midy (Mike and Cody)

"I have no hell of an idea why you even wanted me to have a co-host! I know that they are demanding that we pay for their basically priceless statue! But I didn't break and Audrey is not paying the sue," Cookie argued into a phone. She was clearly oblivious to the camera rolling. "Fine, I'll carry her back to court and soothe the artist who loves to threaten me but I'm getting a raise after this." Cookie rolled her eyes and looked at the camera. She finally realized that they were filming. "Oh crap! I'll call later," she said into the phone before hanging up and turning her attention to the camera, "Hey there! Pay no kind to what was going on. Our couple today is Midy!"

Mike and Cody walked out and stood on either side of Cookie (A/N: Who was on the left and who was on the right is up to you guys.) "We know what happens when we're out here," Cody stated.

"And just tell you guys we're not in love," Mike continued.

"I don't even know him," they finished together.

"Okay but you didn't even look at the art," Cookie smirked, "And you two have to look at it and read the fan fiction, as your contract states."

Silence. The three walked over to display off Midy. It wasn't as big as the others because it only had five pieces of artwork. All of which had a certain body part that had to be censored for the younger audience. Cookie snickered while the two boys' eyes widened.

"Do they seriously really draw this?" Cody asked.

"It's there, so duh!" Cookie sneered.

"Can we get some history on this please?" Mike begged.

"Well because of your MPD and the fact that Cody's mother is a physiatrist made fans think that you guys were childhood friends who know have an attraction to each other or the fact that you guys are really cute geeks that fans want to get together," she explained.

"Oh," they said in sync.

"You'll make it worse by talking in sync. Anyways we have one fan fiction," Cookie informed as she handed them a piece of paper.

"Cody's mother had left the room. It was just Cody and Mike left. Unknown to Mrs. Anderson thee two boys were deeply in love with each other," they read.

"That's good enough because the rest is going to get me sued and we already have to get back a new Dott statue," Cookie said while taking the paper away from them.

"Cody seems cool and all but were never going to be in a relationship," Mike said with a shrug.

"We can be friends," Cody offered.

"Yep," Mike agreed. They left the gallery while getting to know each other.

"That does it for now! Don't forget to leave your suggestion about who's going to find who we ship them with next and maybe a hug," Cookie announced, "Now excuse me while I go look at my OTP. Peace out." She smiled as she walked to the Zoke gallery.

A/N:

Me: IDOTD! Please remember, Cookie is somewhat based off of me. Not the look but the OTP and the personality. Anyways, this was Midy. I already know who I'm doing next and it's going to be posted tomorrow or Thursday. Oh and sorry for the lack of update. Honestly, I was had headaches and I'm still having them plus I get distracted easily.


	8. Gwentney (Gwen and Courtney)

"So what exactly do you want me to do?" Cookie argued into her cell phone, "The court sided with Audrey even though we had all the points and facts accurate. Most likely because she is the judge's daughter." As like last time she was not aware that the camera was rolling. Muffled noises are heard from the phone. "Get the artist as a co-host? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! What if he breaks a piece of artwork like Audrey?" More muffles and mumbles from the phone. "Fine. Send him over. What? He's here. Name, please? Okay. Bye." Cookie hung up the phone and looked at the camera.

After a moment of awkward silence Cookie smiled and said, "Hey there. You heard nothing and in fact Steve, our cameraman, is getting a beat down from me when we're done. Anyways, I now have a new co-host and his name is Charles."

Out of a dressing room walked a tall, lean but athletic looking guy. He had messy brown hair and warm brown eyes. He wore a green t-shirt and black jeans paired with black Nike sneakers. The two looked into each other's eyes and their hearts stopped. "Hey," Charles said with a British accent. (A/N: I just had too. LOL!)

"Hey," Cookie replied blushing, "So um. Today's couple is Gwentney!"

Gwen and Courtney came out and stood next to Cookie pushing Charles to the far left of Cookie. "Alright girls, I have to congratulate you girls for becoming friends again," both Cookie and Charles congratulated in sync. Both of their cheeks flushed deep red.

"We're not friends," Gwen commented harshly while glaring at Courtney.

"I'll never be friends with the boyfriend selling goth ball," Courtney added.

"He wasn't your boyfriend at the time you little b-," Gwen argued before being cut off by Cookie who shook her head.

"No swearing for you. Only Charles and I may swear. Isn't that right authoress?"

"While that is right," declared a voice, "What have I said about breaking the fourth wall? DON'T! DO! IT! AGAIN!"

"Whatever, it's going to happen again," Cookie replied with a malicious gleam in her eyes.

Gwen, Courtney and Charles just stared at Cookie like she grew a second head. "Anyways," Charles remarked, "This is the wall of Gwentney. It's actually a very funny back story to it."

"What was there a Goth host that people pair me with?" Courtney inquired raising her eyebrow.

"No," Cookie replied, "But because of Gwen's constant attempts to become best friends with Courtney; people took as an attempt to become lovers and become the first contestants to participate in LGBT relationships. Thus, these pictures of you two kissing, showing each other your underwear and some that has to be completely censored. Hell, the fanfiction had to be canceled today because the amount of graphics."

"Wow. Those fans are really extreme," Gwen remarked, "I feel kind of sick because Courtney is just bossy and female doggish." Courtney rolled her eyes and glared at Gwen. If looks could kill Gwen would have been reduced to nothing but ashes on the floor.

"You're free to go back to your dressing room I guess," Cookie announced trying to avoid any confusion pointing to their rooms.

They two exited without a single exchange of words. "So that's it for today don't forget to leave your suggestions," Cookie urged, "Anyways, Steve and I have some unfinished business."

A whimper is heard as Cookie ran off behind the view of the camera and cries of pain are heard as fists are engaging with Steve's face.

"She's feisty and cute. I think I'm going to have to marry her. Hey, guys do you think I should maybe ask her on a little date or nah. I kind of like her. Oh, here she comes," Charles stated.

"Peace out," Cookie said coming into view of the camera with one bruise on her face, "Let's check out the rest of this gallery." She pulled him off to the Notie section as he blushed from the closeness of her body to his.

* * *

A/N:

Me: I have not updated in a while. I'm very lazy like that. So, should I have Cookie get a love life or no? I want an opinion but this doesn't mean I'll exactly follow it. Before anyone says anything in episode 11 of TDAS Gwen and Courtney technically hated each other again, well that's what I think.I don't own Total Drama. Oh and I couldn't find any K rated Gwentney sorry.


End file.
